


Simba and Sons (for lionobsession)

by Chronos_X



Series: Headcanons (2016-) [29]
Category: The Lion Guard (Cartoon), The Lion King (1994)
Genre: Afterlife, Batman References, Childhood Memories, Childhood Trauma, Funny, I have too much free time on my hands, Kion is a failed edgelord, Lion King references, Mufasa is the OSL (Only Sane Lion), Mufasa's and Simba's family is dysfunctional, Pride Lands (The Lion King), Scar's afterlife sucks, Simba's life sucks, faux pas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-14 07:48:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29042637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chronos_X/pseuds/Chronos_X
Summary: Also available at https://www.deviantart.com/chronos-x/art/Simba-and-Sons-671651374.Dragon Ball Super: Twilight of Gods I - https://archiveofourown.org/series/1466320
Series: Headcanons (2016-) [29]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1635487
Kudos: 1





	Simba and Sons (for lionobsession)

Simba: What do you think, boys? You ready to paint the savannah red with your old man?  
  
Kion: This is great, dad! It's been forever since we've gotten together. The fact that I spent most of my childhood and adolescence playing border patrol and wangsting over my fear of turning evil might have had something to do with it.

( _Simba rolls his eyes_ ).  
  
Kopa: Yeah, we should do this more often, make up for the time we lost when I fell into that tank of bleach and had to go to rehab for like ten years. Maybe now people will quit talking sh&t about me being non-canon... whatever that means.  
  
Simba: Awesome! Nothing could possibly ruin this moment!

( _The clouds behind them part, reveal Scar's spirit_ ).  
  
Scar ( _in his ethereal Jeremy Irons voice_ ): Knock-knock.  
  
Simba ( _sweating heavily_ ): Who's there?  
  
Scar: Nutjor.  
  
Simba: Nutjor who?  
  
Scar: NUTJOR FATHER!

( _Scar laughs maniacally as thunder roars, Simba weeps uncontrollably and babbles incoherently about wildebeest and cliffs as Kion and Kopa go crazy trying to protect him. Mufasa and Ahadi appear in peals of lightning, their faces frozen in tranquil fury_ ).  
  
Ahadi ( _yanks Scar by one of his ears_ ): You are in so much trouble, young lion! Just wait till your mother gets home!  
  
Scar: No, anything but that! She'll take away my Galaxy 7!  
  
Mufasa: She'd be doing you a favor. Take him away, dad. I'll clean up here. ( _Scar and Ahadi vanish, bickering as they used to do_ ). Sorry 'bout that, boys. It won't happen again.  
  
Kion: That's what you said last week, Grandfather.  
  
Kopa: And the week before that, and the one prior to that.  
  
Mufasa: Well, we'd have an easier time keeping an eye on your grand-uncle if a certain _somebody_ ( _Gives Kion the stink eye; Kion looks away, pretends not to notice_ ) would stop summoning me every time he needs to move a couch or something. ( _To Kopa_ ). I'm still waiting for that refund from your latest kickstarter.  
  
( _Ahadi/Scar/Sarabi/Sarafina/Nuka/Zira appear next to him and shout "SO ARE WE!" in unison_ ).  
  
Kopa ( _stares sourly_ ): It's coming along, Grandfather... and Great-Grandfather, Grand-Uncle, Grandmothers, second cousin, twice removed, grand-aunt-by-marriage-that-got-annulled.

( _They all disappear, except Mufasa_ ).  
  
Mufasa: So we keep hearing. ( _Sees Simba's still bawling as Kion and Kopa help him up_ ). It's ok, son. Dry your tears. Have some fun with the boys (whom you're embarrassing like all hell, I might add). Go catch a flick at Crime Alley or... ( _Gasps, covers his snout, realizes he's made a major faux-pas as Kion and Kopa look on in terror_ ).  
  
Simba: C-C-CRIME ALLEY!? ( _Resumes weeping_ ).  
  
Kion/Kopa: GRANDFATHER!!!  
  
Mufasa ( _shamefaced_ ): Uh...

( _Mufasa fades away, leaves the boys to clean up his mess..._ ).


End file.
